As I am sure you all know, because you follow me on social media, I lost my grandma, or Noni/Nana as I called her, suddenly on October 30th. She was 94, but was blowing all doctors and everyone she knew away with how well she was doing. We celebrated her birthday the week prior and she had a fruity cocktail out at dinner. She was happy and still walking and pretty self sufficient for 94 which makes this that much harder. This loss has been the hardest loss I have ever experienced and changed my life, but I am grateful for the 35 years I had with her. And I am grateful she didn't suffer any pain and she is exactly where she wants to be, in Heaven with my grandpa, her soulmate. This post is dedicated to her and our relationship and I hope it captures how special she was and how much I will always miss her.
For as long as I can remember Noni has been my best friend, greatest confidant, my favorite cooking and baking buddy, my shopping partner, my traveling companion, and so much more! I have laughed with her, cried with her, told her things I had never told anyone else, and shared so many of my favorite memories with her. In the past year she also became the greatest great grandma and had a bond with my daughter Kelia I never could have imagined and it meant everything to me.
From a very young age Noni and I became close. We spent time together almost every day and she sparked my interest in cooking by teaching me what she knew, sharing her famous and delicious recipes, and watching The Food Network with me. We bonded over baking cakes and watching Emeril Lagasse and I will always treasure these moments.
We also had many one on one grandparent and me mini getaways and whole family vacations and Noni always made them all extra special. From San Diego to Palm Springs, to Hawaii and Alisal, and to Santa Barbara and even a cruise to the Mediterranean; Noni (and Popsie) always gave us the best experiences and made the best memories with us! With my love of cooking she ever took me to visit The Cordon Bleu in Paris, France!
Another thing about my relationship with Noni was that I could tell her anything and she never ever judged me in any way and always always had the best advice, hugs, and a yummy meal to make me feel better. She also always had a bubble bath waiting and a movie to watch together and of course had popcorn and cookies to bake! I could confide in her more than anyone else. Like I said above, I told her things nobody else knew. We talked about boys and dating, school, the impact my parents divorce had on me, my mental issues and when I knew I needed help, and more. I shed many tears in her arms and she shed some with me. We laughed really hard together too and I will never forget taking her with me to see "Knocked Up" in the theater and both of us cracking up even though it this isn't a movie you would normally think to see with your grandma LOL....When I had struggles with my parents and needed someone to talk to or help me she was that person. I am so blessed to have had her and her wisdom, her support, her love and her guidance.
I am slowly learning how to navigate through life without her, but it isn't easy. So many things remind me of her or make me want to call or FaceTime her. Every bump in the road has me missing my greatest fan. I will never forget how she couldn't go anywhere even just to the family room without putting her (usually bright pink) lipstick on, how she always ordered her favorite Starbucks iced mocha, or how when we were younger and visited her she had a little gift drawer in her house with a new present every time! Her huge heart and love for everyone made her very special. She loved everyone and I know everyone loved her. She had a sense of humor up until she died that was so uplifting it was contagious and she always wanted to do something for everyone.
I try to talk to her often and remember she's always with me, but I will always always miss every single thing about her. She was one of a kind and my rock for so long. I just hope to keep making her proud and make decisions she would be supportive of! I plan to keep doing things we did together with Kelia now and always remind Kelia about her.
Now I am crying and woke Kelia so I will end here. But I love you Noni forever and couldn't be more grateful I have someone so absolutely amazing to miss and remember forever. Hug your loved ones tight and spend time with them and don't take anything for granted because you never know when they will be gone.
Love Always,
Alana