Making New Friends and Keeping The Old Ones...A Post About Friendship!
- Alana Wilson
- Mar 4, 2020
- 7 min read
As long as I can remember I have been a little socially awkward and had trouble making and keep friends. I have, however, been blessed that even through ups and downs and my move from Orange County to Ventura County to be with my husband, I have kept a small group of close friends since my high school days. I also have made a few friends nearby, but a couple moved and fell out of touch with a couple. I really hope that if we stay in this area as hubby prefers that I am able to make more life long friends and we can share life's successes, challenges, and remaining stages with each other.
In this post, I will introduce you to my All Time BFF (Yes, My Husband) and The few girls I am lucky enough to call my very best friends (I have more amazing friends, but as it should be my husband will always be my best friend and these girls are my closest and longest friendships to date)! I will include my top 7 reasons I think having friends (besides your spouse) is important and a few things I am doing currently to try to make friends here in Simi and as a new mom!
My All Time BFF
Meet My Husband, Cory:
Cory and I met on a blind date after matching and chatting on and iPhone dating app in August 2011. He just got me from the moment we met and we were inseparable and close from day one. We both knew we found our ultimate best friend and soulmate from our first date (but only he admitted it from the start, it took me a tiny bit longer). We got a dog together in 2015 (Buster), got engaged in June 2016 and got married in 2017. Our first child, our daughter Kelia, was born in October 2019. Some fun facts about Cory:
1. He collects Melin Brand Hats and Beanies and All types of Watches.
2. He loves sushi and almost everything from Bay Cities Italian Deli in Santa Monica.
3. He plays Ice Hockey in a once a week league and at one time studied to be a Personal Trainer.
4. He knew before we even started trying for a baby that at least our first child would be a girl if not all of our kids.
5. He is the one who decided our daughter's name was going to be Hawaiian because he loved how my name was Hawaiian and his first time ever going to Hawaii was with me in 2013! (We also went to our honeymoon in 2017 and are going next month for our 3rd anniversary with our new little love child in tow!)
My Best Girls (Last Names Omitted for Privacy)
Hayley: I met Hayley in my high school senior English class. Apparently, To her I was that weird girl who talked WAYYYYYY too much, but somehow won her over and here we are 15 years later still Best Friends. Thats not to say we haven't had ups and downs and periods of breaks in our friendship, but despite those obstacles we remain close even living over 100 miles apart (she moved south and I moved north) and I hope/believe we will be friends forever. Hayley lives in Orange County with her husband, Rudy, who is another good friend of mine; her 2 crazy boxers, Piper and Odie, and their cat, Milo. It is funny even though we are the best of friends and closest of all my friends she is the only one who hasn't met my daughter yet! I know our schedules have been crazy and when I visit she is always working! She works for a senior assisted living facility in memory care called Vivante.
Mariah: I met Mariah about 13 years ago through Hayley who met her through their younger brothers. Now if you think I talk too much, you haven't met Mariah! Love her to death, but she is a talker and always says exactly what is on her mind sometimes without a filter or thinking it through perhaps! (I guess we all do that at times, but Mariah is the queen!) She keeps everyone laughing and smiling, is great with all her nieces and nephews and now even babysits her friends' kids! She met Kelia when Kelia was only about month old and keeps tabs on us all almost every day! She has a boyfriend named Eddie and lots of pets! She works full time for Vons.
Jamie: I met Jamie about 10 years ago when I met up with Hayley and Mariah for dinner one night and her and her now husband were there. It is a funny story actually how we initially bonded, but its the way our friendship started and we remain good friends. She also is friends with Hayley and Mariah after meeting through their brothers. Jamie love fitness and healthy living and has an Instagram dedicated to her journey with both. She is married to Johnathan and they share one daughter named Savannah who is almost 10 and hope to expand their family in the near future!
Christy: So it's funny, but oddly enough Christy and I met on Craigslist Personals when I was looking for friends 9 years ago shortly before she got married and now personals on Craigslist don't even exist so we got very lucky we met when we did! Christy is married to her husband Josh who is a US Marine making her quite the super mom to her 4 year old son, Barron, and 2 year old daughter, Coral when he is hard at work! She has moved with her cute little family due to the military a few times and we have always remained in contact and close and even vacationed with them and now our husbands are good friends too! Also, them having kids helps us too because they relate to life with children and all that comes with having them!
I absolutely adore these ladies and their beautiful families and am excited and beyond blessed to have them in my life! I am especially grateful they have stuck by me and are there to watch my family continue to grow even though I now live kind of far from all of them! I also feel so honored to be part of their lives as well and that I have had the opportunity to be with them as they go thru all stages of life from getting married, growing their families, and watching their children grow up as well! I know they will always be there for me in good times and bad, have my back when I need them most, and pick me up when life makes me feel like I am falling. It is also great that their spouses and my husband all get along really well so that makes it even more fun when we can ALL get together! Love you girls so much forever! (Sorry, but yes you are stuck with me so don't even think of going anywhere!)
My Top 7 Reasons I Believe It Is Important to Have Friends (Other than Just Your Spouse)
1. They are company to spend time with, do fun things with, and experience life's greatest joys and triumphs with! (And you can either enjoy time with them with or without your spouse depending on when you need them or want to hangout with them!)
2. They are usually another shoulder to cry on, ear to listen to, and support system when you need it the most! They also help pick you up when you are down and try to make you smile when times are tough.
3. They usually have their door open when you need to just get away and need a place to go and someone to listen to you vent or cry.
4. They encourage you to celebrate your birthday or special days in your life and make sure to show you how much they love you by celebrating with you!
5. They usually have some common interests with you or introduce you to something new they love and hope you will also enjoy! Thus, helping you expand your hobbies and social life opening doors to making even more friends!
6. You have someone to relate to in different aspects of life and during stages you both have gone through or may go through in life. Also, having "girl" friends is great for talking about things only women understand and get excited about!
7. They love and accept you for who you are and love you at your worst not just at your best!
How I am Trying to Make Friends Today
After growing up and living in Orange County my whole life, almost 9 years ago I took a chance on love and leap of faith and moved to Ventura County (about 100 miles from what I knew and loved) to be with my now husband. So thankfully it was all worth it, but it left me somewhat lonely when my husband was working and I didn't have friends in the area besides acquaintances of his. From early on in our relationship and beginning my life in this new area I began looking to make friends. I have made a handful over the years who I still communicate pretty regularly with, but others lost contact with. A few moved away though are still in constant contact. I met them different ways such as one from Craigslist again, at previous jobs, social media groups for his area, the gym, etc.
Today, I use mom groups and community forums to try to engage with other women in hopes of building friendships. I started mommy and me classes with my 4.5 month old daughter and am looking for other events and activities to do with her as well. I also hope this blog, my Facebook group, my YouTube channel and other networking helps me meet people too! Wish me luck in my making new friends for me and Kelia!
So who are you best friends? How did you meet them?What drew you to them and why are they such good friends?
With Love,
Alana
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