Dating?!
Dating...A complex and honestly terrifying part of every person's life. For many people its a daunting task to find your person and its almost always filled with a series of ups and downs along the way. The end result is usually worth it though and makes you forget everything you went through to get there and I am no exception.
For me, dating always scared the crap out of me yet really excited me. It had the potential of making me really happy or totally devastated. I knew what I was looking for and what I wanted and wouldn't give up until I found him. And then it happened.....I met my husband.
Dating him was the best thing I ever did and will ever do. Yes, I am still doing it and even though we exchanged wedding vows I will "date him" for the rest of my life. We sort of met by accident and randomly, but I can't imagine what my life would be like without him in it and thankfully never have to. We have chosen each other to love forever, have a family with, and grow old together.
To have a successful relationship/marriage you must keep that spark lit and romance alive. So just like the early days of dating, you must continue to show affection and show one another how much you love each other. You must make time for one another whether to do something special together, take a trip, go on "dates", or be intimate. In other words, you should always continue to date your spouse.
I found this quote online that to me describes it best. It says, "In the beginning, the reason for dating is to get to know someone better to see if this is a good fit. After marriage, the reason for dating to know your spouse better to ensure a good fit. The best explanation I’ve heard is that dating prior to marriage is the equivalent of an elementary education of a person. The education should not stop there. Rather, it should be just beginning with a desire to have a Ph.D. level of understanding of your spouse." (Click Here for Website)
This is especially important if you also have children because they become one of the most important parts of both your lives and you spend a lot of time with them, doing things for them in hopes you help them grow to be happy and successful, but remember your spouse is always going to be your #1. You met them first and loved them first in order to get where you are today. "Happy Spouse, Happy House". I also know first hand how it effects your children if you aren't happy and showing your love or some affection to your spouse in front of them or as an example to them.
But, Why Date Your Spouse?
I love this picture I found above, but I have a list of my own additional reasons I love and want to always date my husband and think they are good reasons for us all to continue to date our spouses as well.
1. They were and will always be your BEST FRIEND. We all need our Best Friends for Life!
-You always want to be able to be yourself with them, laugh with them, cry with them, make memories with them, and continue spending time with them that makes you happiest. Maintain your friendship. It is the foundation of your relationship so don't let it crumble!
2. They are fun! Life should be full of fun with people who make life fun!
-Tell me, would you have married someone you didn't have fun with? And don't you want to keep enjoying time with them and having fun?
3. You share common values and beliefs.
-You initially got to know one another on a deeper level when you were first dating and you got along really well because of things you had in common. Remember your spouse will/should always be supportive of you and have your back at all times. You should be able to go to them with any concerns or questions so you can share and build upon the things you agree on.
4. To keep things exciting you should break free once in awhile from the routine you have set with one another and be spontaneous or do something out of the ordinary.
-Have special date days or nights just you two. Do something you have never done together or have rarely done.
-Include the kids and take family days once in awhile and go do something adventurous or special with everyone.
5. It continues to build your connection with one another and only makes it stronger.
-The more time you spend one on one and the more you do together bring you closer together and keep you close. This keeps your bond strong and your feelings strong for one another.
6. You make each other feel good about themselves and remember how important they are to you too.
-Whether you get dressed to impress each other or try to spice things up for one another its always good to clean up, smell good, and dress nice once in awhile to make each other feel special and important.
Ideas of "Dates" for Dating Your Spouse
You can always "Google" Ideas or Create your own dates, but here is a few from a list I love that I found online (Click here for the website) and now I want to do that husband and I haven't tried yet!
"Have dessert for dinner. A huge sundae, sinful brownies, and decadent cheesecake are delicious at any hour.
Make love and go all out. Wear sexy lingerie, send each other naughty text messages beforehand, light candles, throw rose petals on and around the bed, use edible body paints -- whatever you think will take the romance up a notch.
Go up to the sky. Take a hot air balloon (Hubby won't do this though he has made it clear, but I still think it would be awesome!)
Look up. Watch the sunrise or set from a beautiful location. (We do watch it at times, but somewhere new and amazing would be fun!)
Eat something new. Pick a restaurant that serves an exotic, ethnic cuisine neither of you has ever tried before.
Learn a romantic foreign language. French, Italian, Spanish, and many others sound beautiful. Then, practice talking to each other around the house but especially when you’re in the mood for love.
Rent a boat or head to a dock and go fishing. You can cook your catch later in the day, so it’s like two dates in one.
Accomplish a fun home project. Paint your basement a bright, new color, install your home theater, create a collage of wedding photos for the wall. You’ll work as a team and feel a whole new kind of satisfaction when you’re done.
Fight for fun. Have a snowball or water balloon fight. Water pistol shootouts can be lots of fun, too.
Go for a wreck record. Bump each other with bumper cars.
Get a couple’s massage at a spa. You’ll get the knots out of your back while bonding with your spouse. How relaxing!
Get to cookin' in the bedroom. Throw a slumber party for two. Have dinner in bed and have each other for dessert.
Sing, sing a song. Perform a duet at a karaoke bar. (Again, I know my hubby wont do this but love this idea!)
Attend a concert and sing out loud to one another. Rocking out—even if you’re more Beethoven than Bon Jovi—is a great stress reliever.
Take a sculpting or drawing class together. You don't have to be Picasso to have a good time. Try painting pottery or another artsy activity.
Challenge each other to a tournament. Miniature golf, bowling, pool, or the arcade are always great for some and friendly competition.
Let it snow. Sledding and other fun winter activities are a delight for children (and adults) of all ages.
Rent a motor scooter and go for a spin. Think Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday!
Stop to smell the roses. Flowers are an eternal symbol of romance. Head to the botanical gardens and learn all about them together.
Take a road trip. Go to the city or the country and take in a change of scenery.
Plan a picnic. Fill up a picnic basket with goodies such as bread, wine, cheese, fruit. Go to the park and share your feast with one another on a blanket. (A picnic at home or another fun place works too!)
Draw sketches of one another. Even if you can’t draw, you’ll have fun and create a lovely memory.
Shoot each other. Visit your nearby paintball or laser tag facility, or a shooting range.
Take to the ice. Glide together at the nearest ice skating rink.(We have done this, but it is too fun not to share and we have our own skates and can't wait until Kelia can join us!)
Camp out and kiss under the stars. Roast marshmallows to boot. If you are not an outdoorsy couple, opt for the planetarium for safer star gazing.
Climb a wall or a real mountain together. This sort of activity is fun but also helps couples build trust.
Volunteer for a worthy cause together. Visit the ill, organize a fundraiser for a non-profit, or work at a shelter. You’ll spend time with each other, but you’ll also make a difference and help others.
Gamble on your love. Try your luck at a casino.
Look at the homes and properties for sale in your area. You may find a bargain that you’ll actually buy or you’ll just dream out loud about your future together. Either way, you win!"
Root for the home team. Head to a sporting event of your choice. Indulge in hot dogs, peanuts and Cracker Jacks. (We actually do this a lot, but always a blast so I had to post it!)
A few others I think would be amazing and fun too -
1. Horse Drawn Carriage Ride or Gondola Ride. A little chauffeured romantic date!
2. Go see a Play or Live Musical. Live Entertainment is sometimes more fun than a movie!
3. Make Personalized Scavenger Hunts for Each Other. Have it go around your city or town, filled with clues based on your ~history~ together.
4. Be each other's personal photographer. Go fun places or places with good scenery and take pictures of each other.
5. Go Skinny Dipping Together Somewhere! (Sorry, Dad.) - Before Sunrise or After Sunset, Find a beach, lake, or pool and be adventurous and don't forget where you put your clothes!
So do you continue to date your spouse? Or will you now? I am even more excited to keep dating Cory now! And I know some of these ideas are now on my list of things to do!
-With Love,
Alana