Hello Reader!
First, I want to Thank YOU for reading my blog! I love sharing my life and mommy wisdom with you all, but not only that I feel that it may help others or at least people enjoy it! Also, when you read my blog you are supporting my dreams of one day using my writing as a source of income to help support my growing family. I don't know what exactly that will be or how to get there yet, but it is always on my mind. I started this blog when I began thinking about social media influencing, but it isn't going anywhere yet. I have had several people tell me I need to figure out how to get into card writing as I am also good at writing letters and poetry and I have written a few children's books, but I am in no position to afford getting an illustrator or have them published. So we shall see where things take me with my writing, but for now thank you so much for the support!
Now to this post! This is my 35th post! I can't believe I have written that much already or that while balancing mom/wife life I have had the time to write that many posts!
This post is going to talk a little bit about how Cory and I parent Kelia, our beliefs and expectations as parents and for our kids, and how we plan to do things with her and any other children we have in the future such as discipline, chores, rules for when she's order etc. *Please Note: There is no wrong way to parent and each parent and family can do things and approach things their own ways. This is just our views* I apologize in advance this post won't have many pictures, but I hope you find it interesting anyway!
Pregnancy and The First Year
The first taste of parenting starts while pregnant and some may not realize it. You have to decide what things you want to use and don't want to use with your baby/child. How will you feed them both initially and when its time to introduce foods? Where will they sleep and how will you establish a sleep routine?
For us, I wanted all the hot items with the best reviews. I ended up loving a few like the Mamaroo, baby carrier, doc a tot and our stroller system which are all now in storage until our next babe. However, we didn't end up using the bottle warmer, the boppy, or the like play seat we got. I wanted the safest and most efficient things available and while some worked others did not and thats just life because every baby and family may have different experiences and opinions on things than others.
Then, we set out to breastfeed and had all the essentials to do so, but Kelia (and my nipples) showed us almost immediately that this wasn't going to work for us. (Another thing is that babies and kids are pretty unpredictable so you may think you will do something, but turn out having to change that idea.) We ended up having to switch her formulas a few times too. I now believe any other children I will start with formula from the get go to make things easier. Then came introducing foods. We started veggie and fruit purees at 4 months per her pediatrician. We did this gradually with only a few spoonfuls a day up to a whole jar a day. Then at 6 months I started incorporating added foods in what is referred to as "Baby Led Weaning" when done on its own as some people skip purees and just do this, but for us we did a combination or Combo fed her. We just chose to do it this way and probably will again. It both helped her stomach adjust as well as helped us combat her digestive issues mainly constipation which she still struggles with time to time. She eats or shall I say is offered most everything now at 15 months and we offer her what we eat and she still loves baby snacks like puffs and yogurt melts as well as loves her pouches! We are working on getting her to eat more veggies and meats currently. Some people only do organic or natural, but we do some of that and some other things.
I always tried and planned to establish a good sleep routine and set up for Kelia, but our living situation has complicated it a bit and I just hope once we move later in the year that Kelia will sleep well in her own room and own bed. She slept great in her bassinet for about 9 months next to us and once she outgrew it/it was no longer safe she ended up in bed with us which is tough. She does well if we are somewhere where she can sleep in a room alone in a bed alone, but it isn't doable here right now so sleep is a struggle lately and she's up a few times a night stirring in our bed.
Toddler/Childhood
We are starting to reach the age where we need to begin teaching Kelia what is right and wrong and what things are dangerous and need to be avoided. We are working on trying to avoid saying "NO!" too much and use other ways to teach her such as "Please don't or stop or lets try something else, etc" We usually resort to taking things away or giving her something else right now, but discipline will be here before we know it. Cory and I plan to have her do chores when old enough and right now she helps us clean up her toys and put things away. Just today I involved her in doing the laundry a little.
Discipline: When it comes to discipline Cory and I were raised similarly in that we were both spanked and both had the soap in your mouth punishment for bad words. We currently have to discipline Buster (the dog) and we spank him lightly to correct behaviors and agree we will do light spanking if needed and possibly soap in the mouth. That said, we will never ever do anything overly crazy that would borderline abuse in any way. We plan to be loving parents who will be there for our kids their whole lives. Yes, we will let our kids learn important lessons from us and others from hard experiences all while protecting them. Another thing we both believe in is TIMEOUTS and when she is old enough we will start those.
Chores/Responsibilities: When age appropriate we will introduce things we expect our kids help with at home and in public. This includes chores and behavior responsibilities. I was taught these with a reward system and would love to have one for my children. When the time comes I will figure that out. Things like making your bed and cleaning your room, putting your dirty clothes in the hamper and clean laundry away to hygiene reminders like teeth brushing, bathing, and taking their vitamins. Eventually helping with setting the table, doing dishes, feeding the dog, walking the dog and cleaning dog poop.
In public things like helping Cory or I with errands, picking up toys at park or beach, keeping the car clean and helping with siblings. Behaviors rewarded include being polite/using manners and being well behaved, doing what is asked on first try, listening/following directions and obeying rules. Things requiring correction and timeouts will take away from rewards and tantrums in public will be handled appropriately at the time and discussed later at home. Our kids will earn things they want and lose things they enjoy to learn important life lessons.
No matter the age we believe in being active and involved in our children's lives and supporting them, teaching them new things, helping them when they need it, and of course looking out for them to keep them safe, healthy, and happy. Which leads me to my next section....
Pre-Teen/Teen/Young Adulthood: I am sure every parent can relate, but Cory and I are of course nervous for this period in Kelia's and other kids we have lives. Peer-Pressure, Testing Boundaries, Dating, Curfews and Rules, and More are all things that will be important to discuss and be active in with our children at this stage of life. If you ask Cory, a typical "girl-dad", Kelia can't date or hangout with boys until she's 30 as of right now, but we will see how that pans out. I will have the sex talk with her when she reaches puberty and help keep her safe when she reaches the age of sexual desires. We will have rules to follow when she goes out with friends etc and with drinking, drug use, tattoos, piercings etc. We will meet all friends and families of those friends and boys etc beforehand as well. There will be rules for driving when she gets her license and curfews set and she has to check in periodically too. All things we followed as kids too. We will be there for heartbreak and struggles and to try keeping them out of trouble and away from the bad crowds.
Our Adult Kids:
Once our children hit 18 and are now legally able to make their own adult decisions we will we continue to support them and be there for them in any way. We will pray God protects them from harm and saves them from bad decisions. We will worry all the time, but hope by this point we have taught them the important and most valuable things they need to know to be successful in life. When they meet the one and start life with someone we will love that person as part of our family and include them in everything. We will share our hopes and dreams for them and help in any way we can. We hope to be grandparents way down the line and maintain closeness with our children and their families. And hope they pass on what we taught them to their kids.
I hope this inspired some people and brought some new ideas to mind. Just remember and understand I know too, that some may agree with our visions on parenting and some will not and thats fine. Parent how you wish and whatever ways you feel appropriate, but don't judge others for how they do. Let everyone be who they want to be. Life is what you make it. Only YOU know what is best for YOUR family!
Now go on and be super mom and super dad! Our kids need us, yours need YOU!
With Love,
Alana